i slept at 11 pm last night and i woke up at 1230 pm today. this shows how tired i am. and the best sleeeps are the ones without dreams. and last night was the best sleep i've had in my entire life. it was so heavy nothing woke me up. and i guess all the fatigue has been removed.
i wasnt allowed to go out yest, according to my dad but i sincerely forgot. i left school way early yest, i guess the tchers dont really care anymore. mari came over for a while then she went home while i went to meet kyna in town. caught world trade center and it was a disappointment. i expected so much more from it, it was too long and draggy. and i didnt cry during the movie at all, which is quite surprising. met wisnioski the stupid in town after and he removed his pink-is-so-cool braces after so fucking long and he's got fucking straight and nice teeth now. so he thinks now he got straight teeth he can make fun of other people's teeth. annoying lil retard. go get a life! hahha.
so dad's angry with me for going out yest, i dont know why since promos are over. so im not allowed to go out today. ive been rotting and bumming around. my room's a mess and so am i.
mom's coming back later to take me out shopping. i always feel in the mood for shopping when either exams are over, and when i feel miserable. somehow retail theraphy works for me. definitely.
i watched oprah just now: people always have their idealistic views of how relationships and marriages should be. when something goes wrong, we tend to enter a state of denial and believe what we want to believe, that things can still work out and people will change. it's time that we should change such perceptions and face reality, that when one thing goes wrong, it's more likely for things to become worse. as it was only the beginning.
i think i entered that state of denial, and subconsciously, i was expecting him to change,
for me. was i being stupid? or just hopeful. that's why everything had hit me with a much harder impact.
i hate being alone, cos nobody or nothing takes my mind of this shit. then i start emo-ing again with emo music and emo words. but trust me im okay. i didnt sob nor weep nor became suicidal. hahaa. i was just filled with anger.